So having had an extremely disastrous first date I can’t say I was eagerly waiting to hear from the next guy who Mary described as perfect for me. Mary described him as Italian decent, native to Canberra but well traveled and worked in Distribution and Logistics, etc. Since she didn’t give me an option B I said ok give this guy my mobile number and we’ll see how it goes.
The conversation with Mary took place on Tuesday night and I didn’t hear from Mr Dumb till Thursday night by which time I had forgotten what his name was. I’m wondering around Aldi doing my grocery shopping, which I hate doing and my phone rings. Since in my brain anything is better than grocery shopping I pulled my trolley over to one side in the cleaning products section and answered the phone. The voice on the other end of the phone can only be described as belonging to one of the guys off the SBS Show PIZZA and the conversation went as follows.
“Ahh like this is (name blanked) and like I’m supposed to like call you”
At this point in time I’ve actually taken the phone from my ear and I am staring at it with a very puzzled look on my face because I have no idea who the hell this guy is.
Since I routinely forget people’s names I’m normally good at these type of conversations but I was tired and a little not with it.
“Why exactly are you supposed to phone me?”
“Huhh oh like Mary gave me your details and like I’m supposed to like call you”
By now the penny had dropped and I realized that this guy was my next set up and the urge to start screaming was my first response, however I thought ok maybe he’s just not good on the phone or nervous.
“Right so you’re (name removed) that Mary told me about thanks for calling.”
“Yeah like now we have to like organize a time to like hook up for a drink, so like what are you doing now can you come meet me.”
“Right now I’m grocery shopping, so no tonight is not good. How about we meet on Saturday for coffee?”
“No we have to meet for a drink, I know some really cool bars so you like can come meet me later tonight and we can like have a drink”
By this stage he had gone from sounding dumb to the same tone of voice a whine two year old uses just before they throw a massive tanti.
“I don’t drink so meeting you at a bar is not going to happen. I can meet you on the weekend for coffee or not at all.”
“No the way it works is that you come and meet me at a bar and we have some drinks and get to know each other if you like know what I mean.”
“Actually (name removed) I don’t think we are compatible so why don’t you call Mary tomorrow and get her to set you up with someone else.” Then I hung up on him and called Mary and left a NOT HAPPY message on the answering machine.
It was nearly a week before I heard back from Mary, who went through the whole “Oh gee he didn’t seem like that when we interviewed him, we’ll defiantly find you a new match immediately blah blah blah”.
As it turned out Mr Dumb was even dumber than I had thought. For the next 4 months he continued to call me once a week to see if I was like over my snit and ready to like do what I was supposed to do and like meet him for a drink so we could like get to know each other better. In that time period I found out that he was a delivery driver which was like a really hard job because like sometimes he forgot to deliver to some places. He’d been driving the same route and delivering to the same places for 3 years and apparently his mum owned the company, which explained why he still had the job. Before being a delivery driver he worked at a petrol station but got fired because if it got busy he got confused and couldn’t remember what he was doing, oh and he kept giving the people their money back instead of their change.
I’m not normally an intellectual snob despite the fact I now have 3 university degrees and an IQ that’s in the “oh my god your kidding” range of high. I will talk to anyone and normally I find whatever the person I’m having a conversation with interesting and I’ve learnt all sorts of interesting things out by being willing to talk to people. However this guy set my creep radar off and after 4 months of having him call me weekly I was sick to death of him and was by now being downright rude to him when he called. Anyway I called Mary one day after Mr Dumb had called yet again to tell me how his week was going and to see if like I wanted to meet him for drinks. The message I left was simple either they got Mr Dumb to stop calling me or they could expect to be hearing from my lawyer. Mr Dumb called me one more time to tell me I was mean and nasty and I told him if he called me again I was taking out a restraining order, which is when I found out at least 2 other ladies had already done this. However from that phone call onwards I never heard from Mr Dumb again.