For some reason this year winter was sticking around in Canberra and it had been about 5C (41F) all day and not getting any warmer that night as I dressed to go on my first official “DATE” from the First Relationship Consultancy Firm. My housemate had tried to make me ware something like a skirt, high heeled flip flops and a way to thin for the weather top. I ended up in Jeans, Doc Martins, warm top, jacket and scarf (which was the 3rd outfit I had put on) and left before she could say anything else. I hate running late and by now was running a few minutes behind time, however the traffic goddess smiled on me and I hit all the green lights and even found a good car parking spot.
Apparently according my housemates “Rule of Combat (dating)” it was expected that I would be at least 5 minutes late. I arrived at the appointed meeting place and was expecting to find my date waiting as I was 3 min late, but not a soul was at the Merry-Go-Round. After 5 min had passed and still no appearance of a person I rang Mr Round and got his voice mail, by the time 10 min had passed I was getting pissed off. At the 15 minutes late mark I decided I’d been stood up and was about to go back to the car and go home when suddenly I see a person hurrying toward me from the other end of the meeting spot.
I planted a very nice smile on my face and even managed to stop my teeth chattering as he approached all the while mentally going “oh my god this is so bad”. We did the preliminary hi are you so and so and he explained he had been late as he’d had to stop and buy a jacket since he’d left home without one. Since it was about 0C (32F) by now and the jacket he had on had stains on it I was inclined to think he was lying but I was too cold and just wanting this nightmare to be over to argue with him.
Remembering back to the point that I had been very specific in my preferences for a date I was wondering how Mr Round had been set up with me. Mr Round was just a little shorter than me and I was in flat shoes, he was Maltese heritage (as in he was born there and not one person in his family had ever married outside the Maltese community). Since I like tall, Caucasian and prompted so far he was 0 for 3 on my preferred date.
The next shock came when we got into the coffee shop and I could see him in bright light minus the beeny and padded jacket. I thought the fact he appeared to be completely round was due to the clothing but no he was actually round. His body was totally round like one of those gym balls, with no neck visible and a totally round head even his eyes were round not almond shaped like normal. This left me slightly speechless which Mr Round probably didn’t notice since he never shut up the whole time we were on the date.
I got to hear all about his ex-wife who he apparently hadn’t actually divorced yet, how hard his job was operating the paper press at where ever it was he worked. But his main topic of conversation was about how totally cool his 19 and 20 year old male housemates were and how much he enjoyed hanging out with them (seriously this guy had a man crush on them). After 45 minutes of listening to him ramble on I finally managed to tell him the date was over and I had to go. He was polite enough to pay for coffee and offered to walk me back to my car which I turned down on the grounds one of my friends had just turned up and I was staying to have a drink with her. I actually wasn’t staying but I did stop and talk to her until he had gone, call me paranoid but dark car parks are not my favourite place to be at night especially if I’m with or being followed by some guy I don’t really know.
I went over to a friend’s place after the “date” to tell him all about it and he rolled around laughing. I mean somehow Mary had managed to send me on my very first date through her company with the exact opposite of what I told her was my preferences. When she rang me the next day to see how the date went and get some feedback I pointed this fact out to her and she was all “ohh gee it won’t happen again we have the perfect guy for you he’s almost matches exactly your preferences” and so on. Optimistic little old me thought that we were now both thinking along the same lines. I mean how much clearer could I have been, we discussed it to death, she’d seen visual evidence of my Yes, Maybe and No preferences and had just received a very negative feedback about her first date for me so surely the next date would be closer to my preferences?