Tinder Scam Profiles – Always “I’m deployed”

I’ve been playing  on Tinder now for a couple of months and although it has gotten better there is still Scammer Profiles that pop up.  Part of me being me is that I have a near photographic memory and I find patterns in information it’s what made me very very very good in my career as an Information Management specialist.

The below is just my opinion and it’s specific to male profiles since I’m not bi or gay  my Tinder profile is set as “Female Looking For Male” so I have no idea what female scammers do.

The male scammer profile has a tendency to be as follows.

  1. Limited to one photo – occasionally 2
  2. Photo will be some guy in a Military Uniform, if there is 2 photos one might be in normal clothes (scammers are getting smarter about this)
  3. Profile location will be a gazillion kilometres away from you to make it look like they are deployed
  4. They don’t list qualifications
  5. They have some vague description of job like “Engineer in Deployed Location”
  6. Normally in the age range of 35 to 45 (that could possibly just be my preference settings)
  7. They will tell you their marital status is one of 3 things (this normally comes up in conversation after they figure out which one is more likely to push you sympathy button)
    • Widowed (less popular these days)
    • Recently divorced because she couldn’t handily his job
    • Single forever because his job makes it impossible to get a relationship going
  8. Their profile “about me” will be very generic but not really tell you a whole lot apart from probably hight, lonely, deployed etc.
  9. The topic of children will not be on the “about me” because they want to find out if either you have kids, want kids or don’t have/don’t want.

They used to just flat out after the first “hi how are you” ask for your KiK, Whats App, email, mobile number or whatever but they’ve got a bit smarter and now do a bit of digging to see if you’re a suitable target.

The script seems to go something like this:

  •  “Hi I’m so glad we matched I real like your profile”
  • “How long have you been on Tinder”
  • “I’ve only just started on Tinder this week still trying to get an idea of how it works” (they are hoping you haven’t seen their profile for the last 6 months and clicked NO)
  • “How long have you been single” (e.g. how desperate are you to be in a relationship and how easy are you to hook into a scam)
  • “Do you have children” – followed by “do you want kids, I’ve always wanted kids, my x has my kids and won’t let me see them”
  • “Where do you live” (normally asked so if you give them your phone number they know what country code to plug in because most people don’t think to give that info when suppling a mobile number)
  • “What do you do for a living”
  • “Have you ever communicated with a soldier”

At this point in time they normally vanish off my profile so I have no idea what comes next but I’m guessing it’s

  • “We’re really not supposed to use these types of apps while deployed can I talk to you via Facebook, KiK, Whats App, Email or text to your phone”

Why do they stop talking to me, delete our perfect match and block me – I used to work for Defence and I still have my security clearance and I love saying things like.  “Oh I’ve got lots of soldiers I talk to online because I worked for Defence, which when you think about it makes it easier for us because if we do start dating it’ll be really easy to cross-reference your security clearance” and POOF INSTANTLY THEY VANISH.

I’ve also had them instantly vanish when I ask things like

  • “you just told me you work for the US Army why does your profile pic have you in a UK Royal Marines Uniform”
  • “If you are in the USMC why are you wearing an Army Uniform”
  • “If you are deployed in XYZ province why are you on Tinder, doesn’t it breach the current communication restriction rules”
  • “If Tinder isn’t allowed because it has a GPS location component why would you be allowed to use FaceBook, KIK, Whats App they all have the same GPS algorithm”

As I said this is just my opinion but “I’m a deployed soldier” seems to be the latest hook for women looking for a nice guy on things like Tinder.  Personally it really shits me off because I do have friends who are or have been deployed in war zones around the globe and lack of ability to communicate with the outside world can do some serious damage to their mental health and make them feel incredibly isolated.

So next time you’re chatting to a supposedly deployed soldier offer to become a pen pal and ask for his snail mail address or his military e-mail address.  If they are a scammer snail mail will be rejected instantly and you’ll probably get offered a @gmail or @hotmail email address.  Instantly plug the email address into google and see if it pops on any scam sites, they tend to be remarkably dumb about changing addresses.



6 thoughts on “Tinder Scam Profiles – Always “I’m deployed”

  1. JH says:

    Hi! I am currently chatting with someone who is supposedly deployed in Afghanistan. We met on Coffee Meets Bagel. The first guy I chatted with I figured out right away that he’s not really army. This guy I want to say I’m maybe 50% unsure. I asked for his snail mail address and he gave me his gmail, and he got pretty upset. He has more than one photo on his profole–pics at home, pics at a baseball game. However, based on the guy in the photo and then the way he randomly gushes it sounds like two different people sometimes. And then one time he wrote me an email that seemed super romantic/poetic. Sure enough I found it somewhere on google. I was wondering, if you are able to check to see if someone is in the army, could you possibly check this dude for me? Sorry for the public request but I couldn’t find where to contact you personally.


    • Hi unfortunately no I can’t get that info sorry. Even if I was still in contact with the guys I used to know security restrictions on personnel files would stop them being able to tell me anything. But google is amazing for this. Google the email he supplied, google his name and the word Army and then check images. Google his name and home town (local papers love writing articles on home grown hero’s). Try for the name of guys he works with & Google them. Every military person has a rank ask his the plug the rank & name into Google.

      I know that level of Google searching seem time consuming and a little obsessive stalkerish but it will give more answers. There are probably others out there who can help so if they read this you might get more help.

      Good luck & I hope he’s legit and it works out for you.


    • I forgot the Facebook is your friend info – try searching Facebook with the email address he gave you. Also try just his name. Yeah ok very stalking you like behaviour but Facebook can give you a lot of info and you’d be surprised how many people leave their profiles open to the public to view.


    • LinkedIn – I forgot to mention try searching LinkedIn. I can only think of 3 people I know who do not have a LinkedIn Profile and it’s an approved platform for Defence Personnel to put profiles on.


  2. Cat says:

    So, was nosing around to see if this was a common thing. In last two weeks, have started chatting with two different guys on Tinder. In both instances, the guys had very little info in their profile and were totally hot! The convo on Tinder both times included a question about what I did for a living and both times, quickly moved to Kik. Both have very bad grammar which even though they say they grew up in US leads me to believe they are foreigners. Ie “I was born and GROW in Orlando babe” or “Don’t you MEET any man yet from the app” (caps mine to illustrate the bad grammar)

    The first time – a convo with “Frank” – told me he was US Army deployed in Syria. It felt very much like I was talking to a bot. A lot of the same msgs: “Good morning, babe” and “How was your night, dear?” At one point I asked what he was doing there and he gave me a shady “C’mon babe you know I can’t talk about things like that.” After several days of this same type of back and forth, I said, “Maybe you are a lovely person, I don’t know. But just doesn’t feel like I am talking to a real person.” His reply: “Why? Tell me more” I think a real person would engage more but maybe that’s me.

    The second convo with “Herb” felt very much like the convo with Frank. So I asked him, “You don’t happen to be US Army deployed abroad?” He said no, but says he is a pilot. Again, the conversation feels very stilted and fraught with grammatical errors.

    Oh and another thing I have noticed – these guys seem to be online night and day. Like if I send a message at 1AM, they reply right away. Same at 9AM. With the time difference to Syria (yes, I checked!) this seems odd.

    Is this common? It’s pretty annoying. I may just keep the convo going with Herb b/c I am so amused by it. But how do you filter these guys out? Anyone else experienced the same? I am curious to see where it goes ie is there gonna be a request for money or naked pics at the end of the rainbow….. 🙂

    Anyway, good luck out there!


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