I’ve been playing on Tinder now for a couple of months and although it has gotten better there is still Scammer Profiles that pop up. Part of me being me is that I have a near photographic memory and I find patterns in information it’s what made me very very very good in my career as an Information Management specialist.
The below is just my opinion and it’s specific to male profiles since I’m not bi or gay my Tinder profile is set as “Female Looking For Male” so I have no idea what female scammers do.
The male scammer profile has a tendency to be as follows.
- Limited to one photo – occasionally 2
- Photo will be some guy in a Military Uniform, if there is 2 photos one might be in normal clothes (scammers are getting smarter about this)
- Profile location will be a gazillion kilometres away from you to make it look like they are deployed
- They don’t list qualifications
- They have some vague description of job like “Engineer in Deployed Location”
- Normally in the age range of 35 to 45 (that could possibly just be my preference settings)
- They will tell you their marital status is one of 3 things (this normally comes up in conversation after they figure out which one is more likely to push you sympathy button)
- Widowed (less popular these days)
- Recently divorced because she couldn’t handily his job
- Single forever because his job makes it impossible to get a relationship going
- Their profile “about me” will be very generic but not really tell you a whole lot apart from probably hight, lonely, deployed etc.
- The topic of children will not be on the “about me” because they want to find out if either you have kids, want kids or don’t have/don’t want.
They used to just flat out after the first “hi how are you” ask for your KiK, Whats App, email, mobile number or whatever but they’ve got a bit smarter and now do a bit of digging to see if you’re a suitable target.
The script seems to go something like this:
- “Hi I’m so glad we matched I real like your profile”
- “How long have you been on Tinder”
- “I’ve only just started on Tinder this week still trying to get an idea of how it works” (they are hoping you haven’t seen their profile for the last 6 months and clicked NO)
- “How long have you been single” (e.g. how desperate are you to be in a relationship and how easy are you to hook into a scam)
- “Do you have children” – followed by “do you want kids, I’ve always wanted kids, my x has my kids and won’t let me see them”
- “Where do you live” (normally asked so if you give them your phone number they know what country code to plug in because most people don’t think to give that info when suppling a mobile number)
- “What do you do for a living”
- “Have you ever communicated with a soldier”
At this point in time they normally vanish off my profile so I have no idea what comes next but I’m guessing it’s
- “We’re really not supposed to use these types of apps while deployed can I talk to you via Facebook, KiK, Whats App, Email or text to your phone”
Why do they stop talking to me, delete our perfect match and block me – I used to work for Defence and I still have my security clearance and I love saying things like. “Oh I’ve got lots of soldiers I talk to online because I worked for Defence, which when you think about it makes it easier for us because if we do start dating it’ll be really easy to cross-reference your security clearance” and POOF INSTANTLY THEY VANISH.
I’ve also had them instantly vanish when I ask things like
- “you just told me you work for the US Army why does your profile pic have you in a UK Royal Marines Uniform”
- “If you are in the USMC why are you wearing an Army Uniform”
- “If you are deployed in XYZ province why are you on Tinder, doesn’t it breach the current communication restriction rules”
- “If Tinder isn’t allowed because it has a GPS location component why would you be allowed to use FaceBook, KIK, Whats App they all have the same GPS algorithm”
As I said this is just my opinion but “I’m a deployed soldier” seems to be the latest hook for women looking for a nice guy on things like Tinder. Personally it really shits me off because I do have friends who are or have been deployed in war zones around the globe and lack of ability to communicate with the outside world can do some serious damage to their mental health and make them feel incredibly isolated.
So next time you’re chatting to a supposedly deployed soldier offer to become a pen pal and ask for his snail mail address or his military e-mail address. If they are a scammer snail mail will be rejected instantly and you’ll probably get offered a @gmail or @hotmail email address. Instantly plug the email address into google and see if it pops on any scam sites, they tend to be remarkably dumb about changing addresses.