Love & Sex, What Women Don't Know About Men

What Women Don’t Know About Men, Love & Sex

Front cover Inside cover

I honestly thought this book would be aimed at single women trying to find MR RIGHT but no this book is in fact aimed at the already dating, engaged or married set who for whatever reason don’t seem to understand their man.

The people who write and publish Men’s Health Magazine did a survey of over 5,000 men in the Men, Love & Sex Poll and this book is the resulting output of those statistics into something readable.  The book is full of quotes, statistical information, explanations of what that stats means in real life situations, what to say to him and what not to say to him.  Some of the book gave good advice like when he comes home give him time to settle into “being home” before you bombard him with questions. Make questions specific like “so did Mr Jones fire the new admin” rather than “how was your day”.   If you just need to vent and you don’t want him trying to “fix” whatever the problem is then tell him you just want to vent and he just needs to listen not fix it.  Just like you he needs his emotional ego stoked occasionally so tell him he did good or he’s looking hot (especially if he’s made an effort to clean up for a special occasion).  The no answer thing might be for your own good because he’s smart enough to know you love the new dress you just bought and you feel good in it so he might think the colour is hideous but he’s not going to say that because he doesn’t want to hurt you.  Don’t flip out if he looks at other women  if she’s attractive then everyone including you is probably looking at her.  If he wanks off don’t stress it’s not that he doesn’t find you attractive or thinks you’re not giving him enough sex, it’s stress relief.  If he say’s “it’s not you it’s me” when he breaks up with you he’s lying but he doesn’t want to be the bad guy who broke your heart by telling you you’re a controlling bitch and he’d rather chew his own arm off than marry you.

The two issues I had with the book was that one section of it basically said that if you’re not revving your man’s engine at home then you can expect him to find someone else to rev it for him.  Men are more sexual beings than women so he’s always going to be on the look out for the opportunity to jump your bones so if you show him affection expect him to try for sex – this little peace of info totally contradicts the “just give him an unexpected hug it’ll stroke his ego and show you love him he won’t take it as an invite for sex” perviously stated in the book.

Unless you are a total princess who’s had very little to do with boys growing up or men in your job or personal life this book really doesn’t tell you much that isn’t common sense.  Personally I’ve never had an issue with communicating with guys maybe the fact my 3 best friends pre-puberty were boys and most of my adult career has been spent in male dominated industries means I’ve learnt how men think.  Actually I think it’s got more to do with the fact I’m a logical not emotional thinker so my reaction to any situation is to find the answer and fix it which is apparently how the male brain works.  It doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally do the emotional melt down trust me I do but it takes A LOT to push me to that point.