I picked this horrible not so little book up dirt cheep and thought it would be advice on online dating from a male point of view which would have been interesting because lets face it 99% of the books, advice columns, blogs and what not on dating are written by women from a woman’s point of view. The front cover and blurb on the back even give you the impression this book is going to be awesome with things like “tells you everything you always wanted to know about men and were quite right to be afraid to ask” etc.
OMFG if this is the caliber of single men between 35 and 45 looking for dates on the internet then I truly wish I was gay and preferred women!
The book is not as I found out advice from a male point of view it’s possibly the longest monologue in history from the author Sean Thomas about his entire sexual history with little bits of interesting facts thrown in about his year long assignment for Men’s Health (the magazine) on his experiences of internet dating.
The book starts out interestingly enough with him proposing to his girlfriend and then flashes back to a few years earlier when he was given the assignment to research internet dating and go on dates and then write about it for Men’s Health so men know what they are in for should they decide to go down this path.
Even at the start of the book you get the idea this guy is a neurotic, narcissistic, asshole who is going to blame all of his issues and problems on someone else. The book quickly deteriorates into descriptions of his past difunctional relationships and how the first few women he dated mentally screwed him up so bad he can get a hard on long enough to have sex so god bless the little blue pill (viagra).
He in detail rambles on about how woman have to be shorter than him, very girly and well submissive for him to find them attractive. You learn about his breakdown due to drink and drugs that screwed up his career, which of course was all the fault of the girl who dumped him just before it happened. He also goes on and on and on about his likes and dislikes in the kinky sex department, his brush with hookers which is why he hates women who expect him to pay for their drinks/dinner on a date (roll eyes and skip to next chapter). He delves into the world of internet porn and how he got addicted to it and how it made him stay up surfing the web so much he ended up in hospital malnourished and seriously ill
If you skip over the drivel about his sex life he does occasionally come up with some really interesting quips about society view point on singles over 30 like:
“When exactly does the word single and phrases involving it become pejorative? When you’re in your 20s single is equated with cool as in “invite your single friends they’re a blast” or ‘wow check her out I hope she’s single’. Post 30 that emphasis changes to things like ‘She’s still…….single!’ almost gasped in horror as they wonder what’s wrong with her”
Possibly the best chunk of the book is one paragraph:
“It’s a very weird feeling. Internet dating is making me look at myself in a cold, clear and unforgiving light. Net-dating is telling me precisely the kind of people I am likely to appeal to; not just the kind of people I would like to appeal to. It’s telling me where I slot, in the marital desirability stakes”
Anyone who has ever put up a profile on an online site will have felt that feeling of ice cold horror as you either get bombarded with responses from creepy old guys, visa hunters and predators or nada, zip, zero, zilch responses and you realise that the world doesn’t see you like friends and family do they view you as either desperate, a meal ticket, a victim or so uninteresting you may as well be invisible.
I love books but I’m going to say this book would make excellent paper to start a fire with because seriously it’s bad porn written from the point of view of a self centred, narcissistic, paranoid, whiny turd who borders on being a creep. Since he spends pages describing how one of his kinks is the thrill of nearly getting caught I’m guessing the thought of people reading this drivel gives him a boner and if that’s not enough to put you off reading it I don’t know what is.