Having read the last blog about the horrendous experience from my 1st ever encounter with an in person match making service you’d think I would have had the brains to avoid ever setting foot in one again. Nope I apparently am either the eternal optimist or a slow learner depending on who you ask.
By the time I decided once again that online dating wasn’t my thing and I needed the help of a living breathing human to achieve my happily ever after goal of finding my man and settling down into domestic bliss I’d gone through hell and come out the other side a slightly different person.
Hell for me started in 2007 the year 2 family members unexpectedly died, my only living grandfather was diagnosed with dementia and rapidly losing his mind but was still living with us at home, I died twice due to blood loss thanks to a dumb accident and then had to deal with Cancer of the womb and the mental fallout of losing my ability to have kids at 33. By 2009 when I decided to bite the bullet and give match makers another shot I’d been through all of the above plus intensive counselling, 2 years on antidepressants and 3 months seeing a life coach. Considering what I’d had to deal with I figured I could handle dating again.
At this point in time I was living in Melbourne and planning to stay there so it made sense to find a local firm and date local guys. So I did the whole research thing and found a couple of firms to possibly list with. As it turned out once I talked to someone via phone only one company was taking new clients in my age group but they would only listed me after preliminary interview if I met their standard.
I had to cancel my original appointment at short notice as I had the gastro bug that was going around work and I didn’t think vomiting on the receptionist would make a good first impression. Day of my rescheduled appointment rolled around and I was a nervous as hell adding to my stress I got lost finding the place so I was 3 minutes late, which according to the receptionist was almost unforgivable and if I was any later she would have cancelled my appointment. I have a very low tolerance for Barbi doll type humans on good days and this was not a good day, so I oh so sweetly reminded her that she is the first impression of this company people see and so far I was less than impressed so she might want to tone down the attitude and ramp up the smiles after all that and her impressive cleavage was what she was hired for.
Two things about this place should have set off warning bells in my head. The first was the fact the entire office including all furniture, staff uniforms and even staff hair colour were shades of white. There was not one stick of colour in the entire place (very creepy). The other creepy indicator that this was probably not going to be a good place to sign with was the fact all the staff members were between size 6 and anorexic, I’m a size 20 on a not feeling like a fat cow day.
After approximately 5 minutes of sitting in the all white reception area and being ignored by the skeletally thin all white staff I was fed up and considering just walking out. However just a I reached my boredom threshold a pale skinned, flame haired pixie dressed in an immaculately tailored emerald green dress appeared and introduced herself as the owner of the company and took me back to her office.
She offered me a seat and a glass of water and proceeded to apologise for her receptionist behaviour explaining the receptionist was new today as she’d had to fire the last girl since she kept buying latte with full fat milk for the staff and as a result some of them including herself had put on a little weight. I just went umm hummm and said nothing else, what I wanted to say was a little weight on the skeletons you employ wouldn’t be a bad thing.
She then proceeded to say to me “I’m not going to accept you as a client due to weight issues. You’d be far better spending your money on a personal trainer although looking at you I’d suggest gastric banding might be a better option as you apparently have no self discipline to get to the size you are!”
I was mentally going WTF and trying very hard to not lean across the desk and bitch slapping her so hard her pencil thin neck would snap. Instead I decided to be verbally irritating instead and said “lady you do realise you’ve just opened the door for a discrimination case? What makes you think I’d be a bad client?”
Her response – “oh be realistic men don’t want to date fat women, they want to date women who’ll look good on their arm as an accessory and who’ll have healthy pregnancies. Just look at history men always have preferred petite, well toned and thiner woman to marry and bread with.”
I stood up and as I was leaving said “actually your wrong both my parents are archaeologists and it’s only been since advertisements for mass produced fashions started in the 1920s that thin has been regarded as “sexy” before that men desired bigger girls because being fat meant you were wealthy and should famine happen you’d live through it.”
I walked out without a backwards glance and left without talking to anyone. I then went home and took my housemate out to dinner where we ate large portions of yummy food, had sweets and drank full fat latte and laughed over how bad the whole interview had been.