The Reason For "Surviving in the Cookie Cutter Dating World"

The Reason For “Surviving in the Cookie Cutter Dating World”

Before you go “oh a blog that combines baking and dating” I’ll warn you now this has nothing to do with baking. Despite the fact my grandmother was a brilliant cook, my mother and both sisters are domestic goddesses I somehow missed inheriting the domestic goddess genes. I work jobs in remote location both for the paycheck and the fact that someone else does all the washing, cooking, cleaning. If I have to live and work in a city I eat out and hire a cleaner. Someone once asked me what I was making for my mothers birthday dinner, I answered “reservations at her favorite restraint”.

Since this blog is not about baking and dating what is it about? Simple it’s one girls tail of surviving trying to find Mr. Right or heck even Mr. Almost-Right in a society that seems to be increasingly obsessed with how you look not who you are. When I was in my early 30s I decided it was time to settle down and find Mr. Right thus began the endless dates looking for HIM. Incidentally I’m still single and still looking for Mr. Right heck even Mr. Fun Right Now would do considering my current dry spell.

I’ve always been a diary keeper (shockingly bad memory manly) and since my friends, sisters and other extended family live in other location I regularly wrote and still write update e-mails filling them in on what was happening in my what sometimes feels like never ending quest to find a nice guy and settle down. They over the years have encouraged me to write a blog and share it with the world because most single ladies looking for Mr. Right tend to keep their bad date experiences to themselves or close friends and they rarely (unless a little tipsy) tell others that it’s slowly eating away at their self-worth wondering “what’s wrong with me that I only seem to get sent on dates with *stray dogs, gigolos, morons, gym bunnies, junkies, psycho, general losers*”. If you’re like me the next person who utters the phrase “Mr. Right is out there, you just need to stop looking and he’ll find you” or “Maybe you need to try speed dating, x web site, matching service because my friend xxxxx found her perfect man that way” is going to end up being strangled with their own tongue.

I’ve noticed that my girl and guy pals (and family) happily natter away about their partners and what they did on the weekend as “the family” and they tell romantic tales of how they met. However the longer your single the less and less your friends and family want to know about how you’re doing looking for Mr. Right to the point your singleton becomes the elephant in the room that NO ONE wants to talk or hear about.

Most books, movies, advice columns are also either spreading the happily ever after message (not knocking it I love a good romance novel) or are in detail telling you what is wrong with you and how you should change to find your Mr. Right (I’ve also read a lot of those as well).

Here’s and interesting observation, why are there not just as many books written telling HIM how to find Ms. Right and what HE needs to change about himself?

It took me many many many bad dates, dyeing twice in one night, surviving cancer, 2 years on antidepressants and a phycology degree to realize that there is NOTHING wrong with me I’m perfect as I am. Yes there are days I have to remind the gremlin in my head of this but I’m getting better at not saying, “I’m to fat, my boobs are to small, my ass is to big, I’m to smart etc. for someone to find me attractive”. I also figured out some interesting things about the dating industry and make no mistake your “singledom misery” is a multi billion dollar a year industry worldwide.