Yes I actually went back for a 3rd attempted at hiring a Matchmaking firm to help me find Mr Right. WHY I hear you ask? I mean so far I’ve spent large amounts of money to sent on bad dates by company 1 and been told I’m to fat to be attractive by company 2, so why do this again. No I’m not a Masochist I just have a solid belief that I’m not good at finding guys to date on my own so professional help of some type is needed to weed out the stray dogs, losers, psychos, nutters and just wrong for me guys.
By the time I decided I was ready for round 3 of attempting an in person Matchmaking firm I’d moved from Melbourne home to Brisbane, changed jobs, adopted a second dog, buried the last remaining grandparent (I promise he was dead first) and meet an amazing group of ladies at my new job who assured me I wasn’t crazy it would be fine.
This time around I was a little wiser and a lot more sceptical so I did what any good researcher does I read everything I could find on companies in Brisbane before I found one with an excellent reputation who seemed from all accounts are very good at what they do. So I bit the bullet and made an appointment one afternoon to see them. I did something almost unheard of for me and took half a day off work so I could go home first and get ready before the appointment.
I was at the time living in New Farm and the firm is smack dabe in the middle of the Brisbane CBD. For those of you who don’t know Brisbane well New Farm is walking distance to the city and parking in the city is either expensive or difficult to find and the parking inspectors are very good at their job I know because they had my car towed when I was on my Recon for Speed Dating night (next blog).
Although New Farm is easy walking to the city centre Brisbane in summer and this was summer is VERY humid plus I was recovering from a badly damaged knee thanks to a fall 6 weeks earlier. This all made me decide to cab it into the city, which would have been fine if the first cab I called had of turned up. As it was I arrived at the building with 5 min to spare only to be confronted by 2 flights of steep stairs. As I trudged up the stairs still heeling knee protesting badly I was mentally wondering why the Matchmaking firms or Pole Dancing Studios I go to always seem to be on the top level of buildings without lifts and have steep stairways.
I was relieved to discover the reception area was decorated in warm colours with a lovely lady of normal size behind the desk. Between puffing breaths I gave her my name and appointment time. She apologised my consultant was running a little late so my appointment would be 15 min later than scheduled. Fine by me it gave me time to get my breath back, drink some water and check my makeup in the bathroom to make sure it hadn’t sweated off on the climb up the stairway from hell.
The consultant who interviewed me was genuinely lovely but one look at her outfit and I knew we where going to have communication issues. I was dressed in jeans, a nice top, flats and minimal make up with my hair scooped up into a pony tail. She was dressed in a baby pink fitted skirt and jacket, lighter pink silk shirt, stockings with 6 inch heels (in pink), perfect french manicured nails, perfect makeup and hair that looked like she just stepped out of hairdressers.
We did the general chit chat thing so she could get a better handle on me as a person etc. We then moved onto what I was looking for and based on my answers she went to get some teaser profiles. When she came back and I got a look at what she thought I was interested in I mentally rolled my eyes and steeled myself for a long afternoon. There was nothing wrong with any of the guys she thought I would be interested in it was just that based on their profile pics and the information she provided on them my interest was sub-zero. The one photo I did look closely at had nothing to do with the guy in it I recognised the dog in the photo from when I worked in rescue-rehoming and I smiled because I was glad to see the scared of his own shadow skinny little mutt had grown up into a solidly built dog who by the way he was leaning all over his owner had found a happy home.
Since she thought I’d seen someone I might be interested in getting to know better she kicked into sales pitch mode. She covered the basic packages they have and dropped the bomb shell that even their basic package is a minimum of 6 month commitment. She then remembered she hadn’t run me through the dating rules, yes rules.
The Rules for Women:
1. No coffee dates you must go out for a meal and preferably something afterward
2. No date is to be less than 2 hours in length
3. Your date will be given your address and is expected to pick you up and drop you off
4. It is preferred that women wear dresses and heels but a nice pants suit is acceptable, however jeans or slutty outfits are not acceptable
5. Women are to make an effort with their appearance and have their hair/makeup nicely done.
6. You must go on a minimum of 2 connective dates with the same person before you are allowed to decide you’re not compatible and can asked to be sent on a date with someone else.
By now I was gob smacked and trying really hard not to crack up laughing. Since I had no intention of signing up with them I was about to make my, thanks for seeing me I’ll let you know if I decided to go further speech when she kicked off the sales pitch for Premium Package.
The highlight of the premium package is that you get a day with a personal stylist to take you shopping, a hair and beauty guru and a personal photo shoot. Plus for that little bit extra money you could be sent to a dietitian and/or personal trainer to help you look better and if needed someone to coach you on speech and etiquette. She was really excited by this stage and said to me doesn’t the day spent shopping and a photo shoot sound like so much fun. I think my response of “no actually it sounds like my idea of hell” might have clued her in that she might have misjudged my wide eyed silence as enthusiasm instead of OMFG are you kidding horror it really was. I now made my thanks for seeing me I’ll call you if I ever decided to sign up speech and left.
By now it was early evening and I was meeting the girls from the office for dinner around the corner. When they arrived I was on my second cocktail which considering I very rarely drink was a big clue my meeting hadn’t resulted in a happy commitment. There was a lot of laughter over dinner that night and a promise that I would never try signing up with a Matchmaking firm again. It was also where the plot to do a recon mission to check out the types of people who go speed dating before I did it was hatched, which I’ll cover in the next blog post.