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Tinder Scam Profiles – Always “I’m deployed”

I’ve been playing  on Tinder now for a couple of months and although it has gotten better there is still Scammer Profiles that pop up.  Part of me being me is that I have a near photographic memory and I find patterns in information it’s what made me very very very good in my career as an Information Management specialist.

The below is just my opinion and it’s specific to male profiles since I’m not bi or gay  my Tinder profile is set as “Female Looking For Male” so I have no idea what female scammers do.

The male scammer profile has a tendency to be as follows.

  1. Limited to one photo – occasionally 2
  2. Photo will be some guy in a Military Uniform, if there is 2 photos one might be in normal clothes (scammers are getting smarter about this)
  3. Profile location will be a gazillion kilometres away from you to make it look like they are deployed
  4. They don’t list qualifications
  5. They have some vague description of job like “Engineer in Deployed Location”
  6. Normally in the age range of 35 to 45 (that could possibly just be my preference settings)
  7. They will tell you their marital status is one of 3 things (this normally comes up in conversation after they figure out which one is more likely to push you sympathy button)
    • Widowed (less popular these days)
    • Recently divorced because she couldn’t handily his job
    • Single forever because his job makes it impossible to get a relationship going
  8. Their profile “about me” will be very generic but not really tell you a whole lot apart from probably hight, lonely, deployed etc.
  9. The topic of children will not be on the “about me” because they want to find out if either you have kids, want kids or don’t have/don’t want.

They used to just flat out after the first “hi how are you” ask for your KiK, Whats App, email, mobile number or whatever but they’ve got a bit smarter and now do a bit of digging to see if you’re a suitable target.

The script seems to go something like this:

  •  “Hi I’m so glad we matched I real like your profile”
  • “How long have you been on Tinder”
  • “I’ve only just started on Tinder this week still trying to get an idea of how it works” (they are hoping you haven’t seen their profile for the last 6 months and clicked NO)
  • “How long have you been single” (e.g. how desperate are you to be in a relationship and how easy are you to hook into a scam)
  • “Do you have children” – followed by “do you want kids, I’ve always wanted kids, my x has my kids and won’t let me see them”
  • “Where do you live” (normally asked so if you give them your phone number they know what country code to plug in because most people don’t think to give that info when suppling a mobile number)
  • “What do you do for a living”
  • “Have you ever communicated with a soldier”

At this point in time they normally vanish off my profile so I have no idea what comes next but I’m guessing it’s

  • “We’re really not supposed to use these types of apps while deployed can I talk to you via Facebook, KiK, Whats App, Email or text to your phone”

Why do they stop talking to me, delete our perfect match and block me – I used to work for Defence and I still have my security clearance and I love saying things like.  “Oh I’ve got lots of soldiers I talk to online because I worked for Defence, which when you think about it makes it easier for us because if we do start dating it’ll be really easy to cross-reference your security clearance” and POOF INSTANTLY THEY VANISH.

I’ve also had them instantly vanish when I ask things like

  • “you just told me you work for the US Army why does your profile pic have you in a UK Royal Marines Uniform”
  • “If you are in the USMC why are you wearing an Army Uniform”
  • “If you are deployed in XYZ province why are you on Tinder, doesn’t it breach the current communication restriction rules”
  • “If Tinder isn’t allowed because it has a GPS location component why would you be allowed to use FaceBook, KIK, Whats App they all have the same GPS algorithm”

As I said this is just my opinion but “I’m a deployed soldier” seems to be the latest hook for women looking for a nice guy on things like Tinder.  Personally it really shits me off because I do have friends who are or have been deployed in war zones around the globe and lack of ability to communicate with the outside world can do some serious damage to their mental health and make them feel incredibly isolated.

So next time you’re chatting to a supposedly deployed soldier offer to become a pen pal and ask for his snail mail address or his military e-mail address.  If they are a scammer snail mail will be rejected instantly and you’ll probably get offered a @gmail or @hotmail email address.  Instantly plug the email address into google and see if it pops on any scam sites, they tend to be remarkably dumb about changing addresses.

 

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Tinder! why the hype, Uncategorized

Tinder! why the hype

I’d like to acknowledge I nicked the featured image off the web it came from a page called Tinder Man – Tinder Junkie  – click the name to jump to his page it’s a good page if you’re interested in Dating Apps.

Can’t believe I’m going to admit this but I’ve been single long enough to remember when Tinder was launched as an app for iPhone and later Android devices way back in 2012.  At the time from a purely geek-nerd prospective it was brilliant because it fully utilised  the touch screen technology on your phone by the Swipe Left = No or Swipe Right = Yes plus an algorithm that only allowed contact if you both mutually said Yes.  The original version also had the capacity to create a profile from scratch adding the information you thought was relevant.

The Tinder programmers being wise and oddly attentive to what end users were saying about fake profiles-scammers have now made it harder to not be who you say you are by only allowing profiles to be created if you have a Facebook account to link to and they also like to link to you Instagram just to prove you are you.  Oddly this means most profiles  in Tinder contain wrong information because people don’t update their Facebook info with new jobs, new qualifications, the place they are now living or just about anything really and you can’t manually change the information in Tinder it’s locked to sucking it out of Facebook only.

From launch day in 2012 it has been one of those apps in the dating world that literally everyone talks about.  Mostly the user rave about how easy it is to use, how genuine the profiles are, people are friendly, for a free app it’s mostly glitch free and so on and so forth.  There is what I’ll call the 10% who’ve had bad experiences with Tinder and HATE it with a passion, oddly they are tough to find but they are out there.

Way back in the day when I used an Android device I tried Tinder and decided I was a 10% who hated it more because of technical issues with my phone than the app its self.  Once I shifted to iPhone I again tried Tinder on a version before you had to link to Facebook and go hit by so many dick pics and scammers I confirmed my place in the 10% of HATERS and never intended to use it again.

I really should learn not to say the world “never” because it always comes back to bite me. So back in April/May 2016 I tried to download and use Tinder and I hit what is the worst glitch I’ve ever seen in an App and even Tinder doesn’t know why it happens.  To create a Tinder profile you must first create a log in, tell Tinder to link to Facebook, confirm with Facebook that yes you’re allowing Tinder to link to it and then Tinder sucks info out of Facebook to create your Tinder Profile.  However the Looping Glitch as I’ve nicknamed it happens when only part of the information is sucked out of Facebook to Tinder and then every 5 seconds (yes I counted how long it takes) in your Tinder app you get a popup message asking you to allow access to Facebook but it never actually allows you to reconnect to Facebook.

Because Tinder wouldn’t let me link to Facebook and create an account naturally I was determined to solve the problem and create a profile.  It took me till halfway through June to suddenly have it all work.  No idea why I just kept trying every trick listed on Google sites on how to fix the issue (there is a whole range of reasons the looping glitch can happen).

So since June I’ve been using Tinder and swiping left or right as I like.  However it’s really not doing much for me apart from the occasional interesting conversation via the messaging section of the app.  It seems to be if I do hit a mutual match I’m the one starting a conversation and either their profile just vanishes because they’ve “unmatched” me or I never hear back from them.  The ones I do hear back from are all woooo hoooo gung-ho till they realise that nope I really truly am not interested in casual sex then they to poof vanish off the message area.

Now I thought it was just me and that me being picky was the problem.  However I overheard a couple of girls probably mid 20s the other night basically bitching about the same issues I have with Tinder that the guys don’t fill out their profiles and they say they  are looking for more than casual sex but they’re not blah blah blah.  I was wondering by now if men view Tinder as a dating app or a pickup app when my lil sis in London rang to chat and the topic came up about Tinder.  Turns out the night before she’d been out to drinks and dinner with a male buddy of her’s and he’d bitched about how he’s made it clear he’s looking for someone to settle down with and all the women who contact him either haven’t bother to fill out their profile or only want casual relationships.  So apparently no it’s not just girls finding Tinder isn’t really a good place to find anything that might turn into a relationship.

Which makes me wonder in a world were swiping touch screen technology is common, the matching algorithm is used by just about every dating site and the profiles are largely incorrect because it sucks the info out of Facebook and you can’t edit it.  Why is Tinder still one of the highest rated apps, raved about by millions (according to Tinder) and used by so many?

I really don’t get the hype it’s not that good an app!

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SBS Show - How to Find Love Online, Uncategorized

SBS Show – How to Find Love Online

Generally as a rule I’m not one for just watching TV I tend to bing watch on Netflix while crocheting baby blankets but every now and then I’ll catch an ad for something that I’ll make a point of watching.

On Sunday 12th June I made a point of watching “How To Find Love Online” on SBS (hyperlinked to the On Demand version), mainly because the ad I sore for it made me dead curious.

The official blurb from SBS is – The Internet has transformed every part of our lives and is now changing arguably the most important part – our love lives. Internet dating is now the second most common way that couples meet. But what is the best way to make the online search for love successful? What are the ‘matchmaking’ algorithms that the big companies use? Do they really deliver the goods, or is it just clever marketing and actually a giant con? And is there really any science involved? Dr Hannah Fry and Dr Xand Van Tulleken investigate. (From the UK) (Documentary) G CC.

My main reason for wanting to watch it was because it was a rare view of online dating from a males point of view.  Think about it 99% of blogs, articles, documentaries or books on the subject of online dating are written by women for women and from a women’s point of view.  So a rare glimpse into the male mindset on the subject is a not to be missed opportunity.

I found out some fascinating things watching this show

  1. Men get as frustrated and fed up as women do with the fake profiles, bad dates and being the only single left in your group of family/friends.
  2. E-harmony has one advantage over other sites it’s in-depth (and irritating) questions do weed out narcissistic and sociopathic personalities.  So if anyone you’re on a date with tells you e-harmony couldn’t match them run away very fast.
  3. Photos matter – Doesn’t matter if we girls are looking for a breeder, feeder, toy-boy or travel buddy if they have photos of themselves smiling and doing outdoors activities especially with pets we’re more likely to click “like” than if the photos are idiotic, indoors or unsmiling and the revers is true men like their women healthy, happy and active.
  4. Nice guy profiles don’t cut it – we (the female of the species) apparently prefer the warrior over the caring type so men should put things like “worked in deployed environments” rather than “worked for UN in refugee camps helping abused women” (Are we really that fickle? *ok yeah I am I like men in uniform sigh*)
  5. Suggestion of Like or Dislike works – if someone tells you that these people are perfect for you and you matched really well you’re actually more likely to like them than if you’re told you’ll dislike everyone in the group.
  6. Optimum Stopping Theory will incrust your probability of meeting someone if you’re using a swipe and gripe program like Tinder.

Out of all of the information the Optimum Stopping Theory was the most fascinating.  To put it simply if you give yourself a limit of 100 profiles to view and then swipe no to the first 37 and then stop on the first profile between 38 and 100 you’ve interested in the likelihood of finding true love by 37% better than just randomly swiping like or dislike.  Sounds nuts but when using a swipe and gripe program like Tinder any advantage is helpful.  I really wanted to try this theory but Tinder apparently has some issue working on my phone and keeps putting a pop-up message telling me to log in despite the fact I’m logged in and using the app.

If you’ve never used a program like Tinder you’re wondering why I call it a Swipe and Gripe app.  The way Tinder works is you look at a photo and swipe left for not interested and swipe right for interested and then spend enormous amounts of time griping to your friends about how crap the dates you go on are.

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One Word Respondent

One Word Respondent

Having moved back to the Sunshine Coast and had my life turned upside down, inside out and back wards I decided to re-enter the dating world.  This time round I did the online thing, don’t ask me which site because for the life I me I can’t remember.  I quickly learned to be very very picky about what I was and was not interested in and eventually bit the bullet and went on a couple of real live dates.

First guy I meet seemed nice enough online and texting but on the phone was very short in his responses as in he only gave one word answers like yes, no, fine, by.  Since I’m not a big fan of chatting to people I haven’t met in person on the phone I didn’t hold this against him.

So the appointed date and time came around and I was waiting outside Jamaica Blue in Mooloolaba when a he turned up and for once I was truly surprised as he looked exactly like he did in his online profile picture, I’m actually 99% sure he was even wearing the same t-shirt.  This in the online dating world isn’t very common as people tend to use their best or in some cases worst photos to put up so it’s odd for someone to look exactly the same in person as on a profile pic.

The date was short and possibly the most painful social experience I have lived through.  To start with I did the usual “Hi I’m Nikki it’s nice to meet you” thing as you hold out your hand for a hand shake.  His response was mmm and the most dead body handshake I have ever felt.  Seriously his skin was cold and there was little to no effort on his part to move his hand and arm in the normal handshake way and it was creepy.

So we ordered coffee, paid and sat down and OMG it was bad.  He stared at me the entire time but didn’t talk unless I asked questions in which case I got one word responses.  To give you an indication of what it was like the conversation went something like this:

Me – so your profile says you own your own business what do you do?

HIM – Landscaping

Me – oh really how long have you been doing that?

Him – years

Me – have you lived on the coast long?

Him – no

By this stage I was finding it tough to be polite and rapidly running out of things to ask questions about.  Normally I don’t have a problem being social and nattering away with social babble so long as I’m getting some decent feed back that I can work with I can hold a conversation with just about anyone but this guy was giving me nothing to work with.

Eventually I just stopped talking, quickly drank the rest of my coffee, said something like “it was really nice meeting you” and fled.  By the time I got home he’d blocked my profile so it’s not like I could even ask what was with the anti-social one line responses.  If I was suspicious, which I am, I’d think two very different people were talking to me because the online persona was very chatty and funny and well written where as the guy i had coffee with was a walking corps.

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