For the last week I’ve been on a Social Media Detox, which in a large part is due to the Messenger component of Instagram. I’ve had an Instagram account for a couple of years but since it started as part of Aunty Emz Blankets until this year the profile only had photos of my stock not of me and my Profile Pic was of one of my blankets. It took me nearly a year to work out that the Symbol in the top right hand corner of the screen was Instagram Messenger Service (InstaMessenger) and the number it showed was the number of messages I had not read. In 2 years the number of unread messages had reached all of 4. When I did look at the messages they where all “thanks for following me click this link for our Instagram Followers Discount” from other businesses (and I instantly deleted all of them because I don’t click links in messages that’s a really quick way to get your phone hacked).
When I closed Aunty Emz Blankets as a business I decided to keep my Instagram account and started posting pics of me mainly showing off things I’d made and my ever changing hair colour but my profile pic was still not of me and my unread InstaMessage alert stayed at about 2 unread messages a month. Then I made what I’m beginning to think was an EPIC mistake and I changed my profile pic to one of me. It’s a nice head shot of me I took to send to a friend to show him my new blond chunks in my hair. If I’d known changing my profile pic to one of a living breathing human would have the effect it did I would NOT have changed it.
The shit storm started almost immediately when my account got hit by some InstaFollowers Bot or InstaInfluencer desperately needing Follow Backs for their clients. In the space of 3 days I got hit with 200 Follow Back requests from apparently New Followers to my profile. Then after I’d made the effort to check out their profiles and Follow Back all 200 of them 196 Unfollowed me. In desperation I downloaded an app to clearly identify the Insta-Accounts who had Unfollowed me as soon as I clicked Follow Back and I ruthlessly Unfollowed them.
Then suddenly the number next to my InstaMessages icon spiked from a total of 2 per month for the last 8 months to 6 overnight. As it turned out I actually had 9 Message Notifications, 3 Requests (these are from people not following you) + 6 Messages from people following me. I deleted the 3 Request if you don’t follow me don’t bloody contact me is my view. I then deleted the 3 messages from “click this link and I’ll show you how to make millions” type messages and unfollowed their profiles. That left 3 guys (yes all male) to deal with and within about 2 minutes of messaging I decided to delete all 3 and unfollow them as one was definitely a bot and the other two were (drumroll please) widows with child under 10 who were desperately seeking love. Since both of those guys claimed to be in the US Military and deployed I put up a rant about scammers using the “Lonely, Deployed, Widow with child” hook to scam genuinely caring ladies into corresponding with them in the hope they get so attached they’ll do whatever it is the scammer wants. *
WRONG THING TO DO!!!!!!!
I have no idea which # in that post the InstaScum were phishing for but within 24 hours my message count went into the teens and my Follow Back requests from supposedly single males spiked as well. So again I deleted all Requests, deleted an unfollowed very obvious bots or scammers (1 photo, almost brand new account and 1,600 Followers but 10 Following screams FAKE ACCOUNT). The ones that were left I started conversations with just to see what would happen, I mean you never know one of them might actually be a real guy looking to make connections. One guy I actually ousted in full blown SCUMBAG SCAMMER ALERT on Instagram and Facebook because he told me “I’m the online coordinator for FaceBook Accounts and Mark Zuckerberg had personally asked me to contact you regarding your winnings from the FaceBook Lottery” – seriously I could smell that as bullshit from the other side of the globe.
As for the other accounts I think 1 or possibly 2 might actually be living breathing men with real jobs, a real Instagram account and actually just looking for someone to talk to. As for the remaining 6 (sigh) either I attract THE most unlucky guys or they are full of shit because they are all WIDOWED WITH CHILD and only 1 did not say he was you guessed it MILITARY AND DEPLOYED. Just for shits and giggles I played along with a couple of them and one I even gave helpful feedback telling him that if he’s going to say he’s deployed in Afghanistan he might want to actually know what bases are in Afghanistan because Basra Air Base is in Iraq.
As per the Scammer Scum playbook once they got answers to the basics like “Are you single”, “Where are you from”, “Do you have children”, which I gave a whole load of totally incorrect answers to. They then started on the “Do you have Google Hangout-FaceBook-WatsApp” questions all of which got NO from me. So then they tried the whining tactic of “but I can’t be on Instagram very much and I love you”, “Please I want to call you on……”, still they got NO. By the time I put myself on my Social Media Detox it was at the point of YOU HAVE TO GET A ……… PROFILE NOW! demands, which got the standard no means no response. Predictably the DOWNLOAD THE APP AND GET A PROFILE RIGHT NOW! bullying started mmmmm that brought out the bitch in me and they got the FUCK OFF YOU TWAT rant.
It got to the point that I couldn’t actually get onto Instagram without being bombarded with demands to “ANSWER MY MESSAGE”, “Why aren’t you talking to me” “I love you don’t you love me” and so on and so forth. I’m hoping that like tamagotchi (digital pets) that if I leave them alone to fend for themselves for 7 days without attention from me they’ll either have curled up and died or gone feral giving me lots of fun screenshots for outing them as Scamming Shits all over Social Media.
Well I went back on last night and as you can see I had a lot of unread messages to get through. Interestingly 3 accounts had vanished off Instagram, 2 had blocked me (guess they didn’t like being ignored), I deleted 6 as they showed all the signs of being scammers, 1 I blocked after he started bullying me to download Hangout. Of the remaining 3, at least 1 is some sort of “I’ll make you rich” but she’s the only female to ever contact me so I’ll see what bullshit she’s peddling, 1 I think is a legit FIFO Engineer his responses are to human to be fake and 1 is well mmmmmmm yeah think he’s full of shit but I might actually be surprised for once.
* Not all scammers want money from you there are the ones who want you to either visit and then be a drug mule home, steal your identity or use your bank accounts to launder money.*