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I’m out of ideas!

As you would have noticed I haven’t written for this blog site for a while.  It’s not because I’m lazy it was because I was a little busy trying to fix my mental, physical and emotional health problems.  Why did I stop the whole husband hunt side of things while I was doing this?  I realised while having a massive mental health crisis that there wasn’t much point in husband hunting to find someone who’d love me if I didn’t even really like me let alone love myself.

As it turns out I’m high functioning autistic with communication difficulties and co-morbid ADHD so fixing me isn’t going to happen but learning to love me as me has happened.  Medication for the ADHD means I can now sit still for more than 2 minutes and have a conversation without it taking a huge amount of effort to stay on topic.  No medication will help with my autism but behavioural therapy is helping me learn that emotionally and mentally I’m wired a little differently so I’m never going to be “normal”, which is fine and I’m leaning better coping skills, social skills and how to not make stupid chaos making decisions.  If you want full details on the whole autistic side of my life go read The Cutting Cookies Circus my blog all about my diagnostic journey and autistic view of life.

So I’m now closing in on 18 months of being in the care of my amazing Psychiatrist and 14 months of working with my incredibly paitent Psychologist for behavioural therapy.  I’ve started my own business Aunty Emz Blankets started joining social networks with the help of my business buddy Crystal C & A Beauty By Design both to meet people and to build business contact here on the Sunshine Coast, joined 2 book clubs and so on and so forth.  Basically I’ve started to build a life here on the Sunshine Coast and for the foreseeable future I will be staying here so I decided it was time to put my big girl panties on and gratefully glide back into the dating world.

As you’ve probably guessed by the title of this blog I’ve hit a bit of a glitch with my plan to gracefully glide back into the dating world as a fully formed, loving thy self goddess that I am.

WHATS THE PROBLEM

I have no idea how to find eligible bachelors to date on the Sunshine Coast!

  • Bar/Pub/Club – ah no because I don’t drink alcohol, I’m autistic and frankly if you’re over 30 and still looking for husband material in bar/pub/club you are in all probability going to end up with an alcoholic fuck-wit or a toy boy looking for a sugar mama
  • Match Maker (Relationship Consultancy Service) – they either no longer exist because they’ve been wiped out by the Online versions or the Sunshine Coast doesn’t have any I’m not sure which but either way I can’t find even one to go talk to.
  • Internet Dating Sites/Mobile Apps – The free to use ones are frankly shit I know I’ve tried most of them and if I’m going to pay for the privilege of been sent on bad dates I at least want the ability to walk into an office and talk to a living, breathing human about improving the process.
  • Speed Dating – not one speed dating company runs any events on the Sunshine Coast.  Closest event I can find is in Brisbane (roughly 2 hours south of where I live) so the event might cost $20 to attend but add in petrol, parking, post event stress triggered therapy and I’d be looking at upwards of $150 in real costs.  Plus if I did actually make a mutual match with an eligible bachelor he’d be living anywhere from 2 to 4 hours drive away from where I live so not exactly a good start (especially when you’re unemployed yet again and petrol is around $1.25 to $1.38 a litre).
  • MeetUp Groups – yeah nah one thing I’ve learnt about being autistic is I am never going to be comfortable with meeting a whole bunch of new people at once and unfortunately all my girl pals here on the coast are not single so they can’t join and come as my security blanket. Plus looking at the age groups at 43 I’m in the no group for you range.  I did look and found social single groups for 25-35, 30-40 and 50+ all of which make a point if telling you that you must show proof of age when first attending and if you’ve fib on your application and are too old/young for the group you’ve attempted to join you’ll be removed from the group and blocked from their social media sites.
  • Table For 6 (or similar) – ummmm no for a couple of reasons like cost because you have to pay either a 6-12 month membership fee plus you pay for your meal every time you attend an event.  I’m currently unemployed (again) and the Aunty Emz Blankets as yet isn’t making money so what little money I have is being spent on things like food, petrol, medication, Psychiatrist visit and other things I need to stay alive and healthy.  Plus when you start digging into the T&Cs they state that even though you’ve faithfully paid your 6 or 12 month membership fee there is no guarantee you’ll ever actually get a spot on a table in the time period of your membership it all depends on the amount of people in the age group they will put you in so to many or to few in your age group and you miss out on a spot.
  • Team Sport or Group Anything – do not even go there people I’m autistic I don’t do TEAM or GROUP anything.  Hell I even have a mini panic attack turning up to my pilate classe at CGM Pilates and I’ve been going there for 2 months so it’s not like I’ve never met my class mates or instructor before I see them every week.

So I’m 100% out of ideas – please feel free to comment with suggestions, advice and possible good ideas oh hell even possibly bad ideas would be welcome at this point in time.

 

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Un-Social Media, Uncategorized

Un-Social Media

*warning this post has bad language that may offend*

So today I did something very un-x-generation I deleted FaceBook and Twitter off my phone and I won’t be reinstalling the apps any time soon.

I just heard a collective GASP followed by “YOU DID WHAT???”

I seriously considered deleting my profiles completely but decided that maybe in a couple of months I’ll feel less shat off what I keep seeing on Social Media and want to reconnect with the world and I recreating an entire Social Profile is a pain in the ass.

Now that your over the shock that someone could voluntarily disconnect from the 24-7 cyber world of Social Media you are wondering what has prompted this radical decision.  It wasn’t one event like finding a cyber troll hiding under a post or hackers or hecklers that prompted me to do this it was actually several things which I’ll go into below.

  1. TIME WASTED – do you have any idea how much time people waste on Social Media every day?  According to statistics the average person is awake for about 15 hours and the average adult spends between 2 and 5 hours on Social Media.  The scariest part is that those with Social Media Apps on their phone spend more time on Social Media than those that check it the old fashioned way on a computer.  To drive this point home if you are awake for 15 hours and spend 5 on Social Media you just waisted 1/3 of  your day.
  2. MISCOMMUNICATION – As an Information Management Specialist one of the things I constantly teach in staff re-training is to think before you hit send (or post) and if possibly get someone else to read it.  WHY?  Because how you think your rant, comment, post or tweet sounds is viewed from the point of the voice in your head saying it.  How it is read by others is going to be totally different because they don’t have visual or verbal context so your funny tweet might come across as totally bitchy.  This became very apparent to me recently when I read a post from a close friend, made a comment and then she commented back.  I got really pissed off with her because from my point of view her response came across as seriously condescending and as if she was lecturing me like I was a complete moron. I have no idea if she intended the comment to sound like that but it still shat me off.   I’m not sure which pissed me off more the way her comment sounded or the fact she did it on a FaceBook an arena any of her or my followers can read. Which brings me to the next topic
  3. COMMENT WARS – People seem to forget on Social Media that it is not just you and the person you’re commenting back/forth with reading what you’ve writen anyone who has access to either yours, theirs or the original posters page can read it.  I’ve seen comments that if the person posting was actually looking at you face-to-face in a public space they would not be saying but they seem to think that because it’s social media only the person they in their head are directly addressing will be reading the Comment/Post/Tweet.
  4. WHO TO FOLLOW-ADVERTISING – I am sick to death of Social Media sites constantly and repeatedly trying to make me follow pages and people I don’t know or shoving advertising all over my profile that is totally fucking irrelevant to my life.  I’m not interested in Vegan food, anything to do with kids, positive comments, mark zuckerberg, yoga, exercise or any other crap their profile generators think I should like because I’m Female, White and 42.
  5. ALL MEN ARE CUNTS – Seriously if I read one more frigging post about how horrible men are and that they are all misogynistic cunts who hate women I’m going to punch the person who posts it.  I’m 42 and single with enough trust issues to fill an entire psychology textbook so constantly telling me all men are BAD is not helping my mental health or trust issues.
  6. THE POLLY-ANNA POSITIVES – Ok I get the point you have found your happy happy joy joy through the power of positive thinking and you want to tell the world.  Guess what after the 5th post about it I really don’t give a shit so the constant “the world would be a better place if we all practiced positive thinking and it would cure all mental health issues” drives me crazy.
  7. ASYLUM SEEKERS/GOVERNMENT POLICY/RACISM/GUN CONTROL – Guess what people sitting on social media bitching about it is NEVER going to fix the problem.  If you actually got out in the real world and door knocked your neighbourhood and persuaded people to not vote for the politician you hate because of their policy you would have done more good than reposting or ranting about it on Social Media.
  8. KIDS & MUMMY BLOGGERS – Don’t get me wrong I love OCCASIONALLY reading posts about peoples kids and reading the occasional mummy post/blog.  However when the ONLY thing I ever see on your feed is about your kids or how to be the perfect mummy I start to wonder if you actually have a life.  Try posting something none kid or mummy related.  This comment has probably just shat off 90% of my friends who are all mummy’s but guess what one day you’re going to wake up and wonder why the friends you have are all part of the mummy set and what happened to the none mummy friends you were so close with.  We got sick to death of the only topic of conversation being about your kids and feeling like our lives didn’t matter to you.  Yes I get it you have kids and your life revolves around mile stones, day care, pre-school, school, after school activities, kids birthdays, kids being sick, school holidays and all manner of kid related stuff, which makes your life totally unbalanced.  Harsh yes I know but try just occasionally to remember the friends you had before having kids.

To those who will read this an get insulted or upset about what I’ve said or the way I’ve said it I really don’t give a shit.  It’s my opinion you don’t have to like what I’ve said but if you fit one of the above categories I suggest you take a long hard look at your life before you lose real world friends because of Social Media.

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